


The Mess of 2k17

by calibriluu



Category: Natasha Pierre and the Great Comet of 1812 - Malloy
Genre: Chaos, Drinking, F/F, F/M, M/M, Other, Parties, Some Fluff, what the fuck is happening
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-14
Updated: 2017-11-14
Packaged: 2019-01-28 12:01:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,924
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12606152
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/calibriluu/pseuds/calibriluu
Summary: Everyone is a certified mess, Marya even more so.





	The Mess of 2k17

**Author's Note:**

> chaos. just, chaos. and confusion. Marya-centric. must have been high when I wrote this.

Marya stared up at the airport screen, utterly regretting hanging out with the Kuragins ( and Fedya ) once again.

She’s never studied psychology before, but Marya was pretty sure that normal human don’t sporadically buy non-refundable one-way plane tickets to Italy. Even if they are drunk. Very drunk.

It was supposed to just be a fun dinner party celebrating Natasha’s college graduation, along with Anatole’s birthday. Everything was planned accordingly; the amount of guests, the food and most importantly, the alcohol.

They were to convene at Helene's place at 6:30, eat dinner and maybe hang out for a bit, then go home and possibly nurse a hangover. 

Really, Marya should have known things would get out of hand _very quickly._

She thinks it all started when Mary Bolkonsky had actually shown up, thanks to Natasha and Sonya. Now, she wasn’t the problem itself but the Kuragins has a tendency to fawn over people like her.

Helene had tried to convince Mary to take a sip of wine, failing miserably in the process despite her persistent charm.

It worsened, as Helene tried to prove that it was perfectly fine by gulping an unhealthy amount of much stronger vodka with her brother and Fedya. 

The night grew chaotic, Natasha and Pierre possibly the only half-sane ones there at that point. Marya had set her cup of soda on the counter and had gone to the bathroom. As normal as that was for her, Balaga had come by and ‘accidentally’ poured wine into her cup.

Of course, she thought nothing of it until Marya had drank the entire thing. Quite foolish of her indeed.

Why she kept drinking was the real question.

Mary and Sonya had disappeared, not surprisingly. Marya presumed they were tired of everyone’s drunken antiques and headed upstairs to do, well, whatever they did.

She glanced at her phone, sighing at her fatigue from sitting in a plane for so long. Marya hoped they would have some decent airport food, since it was Italy.

Perhaps check up on their lonely friend, Andrei Bolkonsky. He was working abroad and brother to Mary. She shivered at the memory of the fiasco that had involved him and Natasha back in college.

_Not time to focus on that, think about how the hell you’re gonna get a hotel and maybe find a flight back to home._

She reasoned with herself, still figuring out how she even got a hold of her phone ( did she use her phone? ) and buying plane tickets. 

At around 9:30, she was very tipsy and spewing multiple drunk curses, much to the delight of Helene. Fedya suggested they go to Walmart to buy more snacks and drinks, as they unanimously/stupidly agreed.

Honestly, fate should not have left people in their 20s drink by themselves. Especially if it's a particular group of crazy Russian Americans.

They all hopped into the car; Balaga, somehow the most competent person at that point, turning the ignition and starting up the car. Natasha and Pierre snuggled in the middle row, Marya called shotgun and the others yelled obscene things in the back. Sonya and Mary were yet to be found anywhere, not they were searching thoroughly. 

A few hazy minutes later, all of them stumbled into the Walmart. The employees didn't even bat an eye, most likely used to this sort of behavior late in the  night.

_"Heyyyy!" Dolokhov shouted with his hands cupped to his mouth, startling everyone nearby._

_"So we should, uh-um, split up! Anatoe comes with me and y'all can buy whatever you want, like maybeeee some more vodka? Or -uh- whatever crap they sell here."_

_"And saaaaaaaaalsa, don't forget the saaaaaaaalsa," Anatole added, being dragged away by his boyfriend._

_After they silently watched them get dragged away, Pierre mumbled that he and Natasha would go get the salsa and promptly left the others. His hand had slipped into Natasha's as they walked away._

_Balaga had run off to the men's clothes the moment they entered the store._

_Marya and Helene stood in tense silence. Being intoxicated made everything more awkward, honestly._

_"Helene? Do you think we should get something..."  She cut off, chasing after Helene as the latter started sprinting for the dairy aisles. Her shoulder rammed into a shelf containing corn starch and winced as they thudded on the ground._

_Several moments of just tumbling around, Marya found Helene blankly gawking at a freezer of ice cream._

_"Uh, Helene? Do ye, er, do you want ice cream? Or-"_

_"Marya?" An uncomfortable pause."They don't have mint chocolate-chip, they don't have mint chocolate-chip. Marya, why don't they have mint chocolate-chip?" Marya stared at her incredulously, wanting to get out of the Walmart as soon as possible._

_"Helene, you okay?"_

_She glanced at Marya, a horrified expression on her face. Helene kept swinging her head back and forth from the ice cream and Marya. She'd seen Helene drunk before, but not like this. Not, well, childish._

_Helene had a decisive look on her face, and then threw herself into Marya's arms. The latter nearly fell to the ground and struggled to maintain conscious, spots blackening her vision._

_Helene stared into Marya's eyes, holding tightly onto her arms. A wild look appeared on her, Marya getting more uncomfortable by the second. If anyway would to pass by, they would the two in an awkward hugging position, perhaps noting the passionate staring contest._

_"Marya, can you, um, carry me home." She brushed a strand of curly hair behind her ears and finally broke the quiet. Marya stared at her, her eyebrows furrowing into confusion. She wasn't sure if she heard right._

_A loud whoop startled them out of their embrace. Hollers and curses filled the air, with a very familiar voice in the midst of sudden disarray._

_They glanced over their sides, watching in shock as Dolokhov sprinted through the produce section spraying bottles of cheap beer in the air with Anatole excitedly clinging to him. Balaga was on a skateboard and started to stunt off the shelves and boxes and knocked down a carton of tangerines in the process._

_"Make way! Make way! Fyodor Dolokhov -and Anatole Kuragin- are coming to you at your local Walmart!" Balaga clamored._

_A few bystanders looked mortified, while some seemed amused even. Marya and Helene completely ignored their senseless conversation and gaped with dropped jaws._

_Then, gradually, Helene stood up with a growing grin on her face. She yanked at Marya's hand and looked at her with glowing eyes._

_"Now Masha, we can't let them have all the fun, can't we?" Marya shook her head, still confused as to what was happening within a span of ten minutes._

_"I mean, I suppose-" Marya squealed, Helene's hand tugging her toward Fedya and Anatole's direction. A burst of warmth came from where Helene was holding. An oddly comforting touch, actually._

From then, things went downhill. Natasha and Pierre had been found chatting quietly in the infant's section and literally jumped off their seats when they saw everyone else running by. It was even more shocking to see Marya, the normally responsible one, screeching and waving a Canadian flag. And holding hands with Helene.

This hadn't been the first they'd caused mass chaos in the store. In fact, the first time they did so, the police had been contacted and they were in custody for half the evening. The only reason they were allowed back was mostly because the store managers thought it was a hilarious break from their otherwise monotone routine.

But it usually only involved a particular trio and their getaway driver. 

The employees merely sighed in defeat, disgusted at the mess they would have to clean up this time. One of the cashiers snickered as multiple customers started grumbling complaints to the customer service.

Marya only remembered hazy details of what happened, since they started to drink the beer that Fedya has practically stolen.

She could think of Natasha and Pierre attempting to guide them towards the car after they were shooed out the store. The only reason Marya could recall that was because Helene had started snuggling her right after so. A blush bloomed on her face at the thought as Marya constantly checked to make sure she was going to the right baggage claim.

And they 'bought' a fair amount of vodka, according to poor ol' Pierre who had to drive them back to the house since even Balaga was too drunk to put his hands on the wheel.

The ride back was considerably smoother.

_Snorts of laughter and the humming of 'America the Beautiful' interrupted the peaceful neighborhood._

_While the boys were slumping in the back of the car, Helene clumsily fished out a spare key in a porcelain vase outside and unlocked the door. She gestured Marya and Natasha inside, flashing a charming smiling at the former._

Marya felt her face turn scarlet at that memory. Maybe she was just thinking a little too deep into this. Maybe she wasn't.

_Natasha let out a squeal and stuttered as she entered the living room. Marya and Helene lifted their attention over there, both curious as to what made Natasha do so._

_Of course, Marya should not have been shocked to see the two on the couch but she was too inebriated to really care of so._

_Mary and Sonya were interlocked in a mess of limbs and tousled hair. A few buttons were unclasped on Mary's dress and Sonya's hands were tangled in her hair. Both parties glared at each other in stiff silence._

_"Cat got your **tongue** Sonya? Care to tell us what yoooooou gaaals have been drinkin'?" Helene snickered, wobbling as she closed the door._

_Marya would have told Helene off, if she wasn't already trying to deal with slipping in and out of conscious._

_"I-I-I, I mean, even if I told you, you wouldn't remember it. All of you look like you're 'bout to collapse, especially Marya. Besides, where did the boys go?"_

_As if on cue, a thunderous crash reverberated from the outside followed by what seemed to be one of their screaming neighbors._

_They ran outside, stumbling into one another and left Sonya and Mary on the couch with confused faces._

_"...you bastards! Get your filthy feet off my lawn and you better get yourselves a lawyer soon! You will be paying for wrecking my garage!" a man screeched, glancing back and forth at the 'horror' that occurred._

_Apparently, the garage door had been terribly bent by Balaga's car, with the van lodged into it without a scratch. Not surprisingly._

_The windows on the side were covered in beer stains and egg yolks. Slimy patches slowly slid of the once-neat glass. Anatole was holding onto Dolokhov's arm, unaware what happened. The latter looked even wilder than he did at the store, presumably because there were a few empty bottles of vodka laying in the grass._

_And Balaga was casually waving at the ladies from his car._

Marya accidentally rammed into a frantic flight attendant, who was evidently late to her plane. 

Speaking of planes, she kept scrolling through her phone to find a flight back. It was just her luck that either most of the flights were canceled due to a high activity of helicopters flying around and putting out fires or it was going to take quite the negotiating to get on. Most of the flights were already full and booked. And so were the decent hotels.

She hoped Andrei would let her stay over at his apartment, or flat. Or whatever they called them here.

_Behind Marya, she heard Natasha mutter that she was going to stay out of this, and promptly ducked back inside only to pop out once more due to the lovely presences gracing the sofa inside._

_"I swear, that asshole deserves it. Fuck, he always throws around racist slurs to us like we're below him. Not to mention he called Fedya a 'fag shooter'  a while back. Someone hold me before I hand him his ass." Helene hissed out every single word, her body shaking with rage._

_Marya stared at her feet, overwhelming pity washing over her yet knowing Elena wanted none of it and so did the others. Everyone's was constantly more sensitive when tipsy, but honestly Marya was absolutely hating how this night was going._

_Mostly because of the Kuragins._

And she didn't remember much after that.

She could recall Balaga honking at the 'poor' man as he chased him down the street and then holding Helene by the chest as she struggled against Marya, and watching with satisfaction as Pierre calmed down Natasha so she wouldn't have a full on panic attack.

However, there was one thing that stuck out. 

Helene, _Helene_ , had a hand on the small of Marya's back. Her skin tingled at that spot, the slight feeling of fingers softly rubbing there. _God, why is that the only thing I actually remember._

It was definitely after everyone else had gone back to the Kuragins/Feday residence and took their respective rooms. Even Balaga had taken to the couch, unaware of what had happened on it. Marya was too drunk to warn him of so.

_She'd guided Marya into her own bedroom and slowly pushed her into the bed._

_In fact, Marya would have gotten up immediately and leave in confusion if not for the alcohol running in her blood._

_Through hazy vision, she followed. Helene's movements as she carefully took off the jewelry, purposefully exposing her bare neck at Marya. Helene turned around with a wolf's grin as she swayed her hips seductively._

_Marya, instead of scoffing at this, pushed herself off the bed and grasped Helene's wrist._

_"Marya?" Helene murmured, curious as to what she would do._

_She said nothing and dragged her eyes up and down her body, taking in the elegant curves and amused look. A pang of hunger to simply pin Helene to the wall echoed in her mind. Too intoxicated to care, Marya, yanked at the other wrist and roughly shoved her hip against Helene._

_A yelp came from Helene, and it surprised Marya a bit, almost snapping her back to the reality of what she was doing._

_Doesn't matter anymore, she thought as she smashed her mouth into Helene's. The latter made a muffled cry before slowly melting into the sudden kiss._

They slowly guided each other to the sheets, and Marya remembered nothing that happened afterwards. Only could connect the dots and see everyone gathered downstairs munching on breakfast while some nursed their hangovers. Strangely, Balaga was humming some sort of anthem while flipping pancakes in the kitchen.

Something finally clicked in Marya's head. 

Well not that she may or may not have had sex with Helene ( her face was getting redder by the second, worrying passerbys ), but when and how she even got to Italy in the first place.

The notification had popped up a few days ago, at the exact same party she'd gone to with everyone else.

And then Marya went over to Helene's place ( again! ) and they relaxed chat, unaware of everything that had gone down between the two.

And then Fedya barged in once more, handing them bottles of vodka. They couldn't resist, recognizing the quality brand. After all, they were of Russian descent.

Several drinks later, she had snuck into Anatole's room and sneaked on his laptop only to find picture of him and Dolokhov as well as tiny, cute kittens.

Marya didn't remember what occurred after that as well, but what she did know was that Balaga had come by later that day with her luggage(?) and tossed her into the shotgun seat. 

 _How_ exactly did Balaga come by with all her necessities and favorite clothing packed already? Perhaps Sonya and Natasha helped. Seems fairly reasonable.

Here she was, standing outside the terminal in horribly hot and dry weather. Marya was even standing in the shade next a _fan_ , yet the heat seemed to surround her at every direction. Her head pounded with a horrible headache and her clothes became stuffier by the second.

She'd contacted Andrei about half an hour ago, thankfully seeing a familiar face roll down his window to wave at Marya. Sighing with relief, she rushed through the noisy crowd and practically leaped into the car.

They left the traffic in thick silence, Andrei having a stare down with the road ahead of him.

"Andrei, I'm so sorry to call on such a-"

"It's cool Marya, I'd like to know how Mary and everyone else is doing."

"Well, Mary's got a girlfriend-"

"Thank heavens, I've won the bet. She owes me fifty dollars when I can get back."

"Pardon?"

"Before I left, we bet that she wouldn't be dating before I got back and I bet that she would. Honestly, I'm so happy for her, why didn't you tell me sooner?" without missing a beat.

"I booked a flight, like a few days ago."

"Are you kidding me, what were you thinking? And where are ya staying? Do you even realize how long you're gonna be stuck here?"

Marya didn't reply, ominously gazing at the burnt plants along the side of the road.

She thought of the Kuragins, and all the responsibilities she had at home. The ridiculous carrot they had as a president and the politics seething New York City. Not to mention her 'incident' with Helene. 

Literally everything in her life, currently. Taxes included.

"Marya? You okay?"

Maybe Marya would enjoy staying away from the mess for a while.

 

**Author's Note:**

> ive been quite busy with a project and multiple exams coming up, so this was longer to make up for everything. I should be uploading more fics this week and next week. have a nice day/morning/evening! 
> 
> also, I know it's illegal to buy alcohol after a certain time, but we can ignore that 'kay?


End file.
